Returning to Work...:(

I know its still 2 and 1/2 months away but I'm already losing sleep to it.

This blog is more of a musing out loud.

I was working 45 hours a week for an average of £1100 per month.

If  I returned to work on the same hours, it would cost me £150 for 5 days childcare, £600 over the month.

I believe that the childcare tax help thing gives you 70p back for every pound you spend. which covers £420 of it, so childcare should only cost me £180 for the month. Not too bad. That takes it down to £920. Travel is £15 a week, so £60 a month, takes that down to £860. Outgoings that need to be covered by my wage = £450, leaves £410 play money per month. Which is fab.

However my son then gets brought up by a childminder. I'll get to see him for maybe half an hour on an evening and on my two days off. This isn't sensible.

So my next option is to drop to 30 hours a week. Thats 3 and 1/2 days. £770 per month. So 4 days childcare £120 per week, £480 per month. With money back thats £140 per month. Main wage down to  £630, travel = £12 a week, £48 a month. £582 left from wage - £450 = £132....better than a kick in the teeth, but still only get 3 and 1/2 days with T.

Better but not perfect, and that's only providing that work will let me do the hours that way. They may ask me to do 6 hours a day over 5 days, which makes the costs the same as full time but with less money!

3rd option 16 hours a week. Ideally 2 full days (again could be split into 4, 4 hour shifts though) £410 - £60 childcare, £42 back so takes it to £392. 2 days travel at £6 a week, £24 a month. £368 - £450 bills = -£82 :S not ideal. but I get 5 days a week with my son.

I don't know if or what benefits I'm entitled to on 16 hours a week so thats not taken into account.

Last option is to be a stay at home mum, work 6 hours a week, basically just to keep my foot in the door at work until T starts school.

So do I want a comfortable life where money's not a problem but someone else raises my son?

Do I want to split my week and equally share the upbringing of my son, for an extra £100 a month?

Or do I work one day a week and rely on benefits (which is something I swore I'd never do) and bring my son up myself?

Just for the record I can't/won't rely on family to look after him, so that's not an option.

Why does it have to be this hard?!

Any advice?!....From anyone?!...On any of it?!...