I read an article this morning on tots 100 about Consistent Parenting and this led me to thinking...
Routine wise T has a very consistent routine.
6am - Wake up
7am - Breakfast
7 - 10am - Read/Snuggle/Jigsaw/Cbeebies time
10 - 12pm - Nap time
1pm - Lunch time
1pm -5pm - Indoor play/Outdoor play (aim to get out for at least half an hour a day)
5pm - Teatime
5pm -7pm - Play with Daddy time/Bath time (every other night)
7pm - Bedtime!
This is stuck to 99% of the time, unless unchangable events affect it.
The consistancy issues come with discipline.
Examples:
Mammy doesn't let T climb over the edge of the couch, Daddy do!
Daddy doesn't let T lick his knee, Mammy do!
Letting him do what he wants when we're at peoples houses in order to prevent a temper tantrum, parents do!
Obviously these are only some examples of fairly minor things, but what are minor things now can cause MAJOR problems in the future.
My Dad was the strict force in my parents, my Mum was softer, usually she begrudgingly stuck to the rules. I rarely tried to break the rules until I was older and could argue my reasons for and against.
I think with consistancy it's important that both parents try to follow the same rules, and accept what each other deems acceptable behaviour, and sit down and try to understand why each other feels that should be a rule.
I don't like T climbing over the edge of the couch, because if he slips and falls he'll hurt himself, Daddy see's that this isn't a problem if he's sat at the edge of the couch cause he can catch him, my problem is if I'm not in the room and Daddy isn't there to catch him then we're more likely to have an accident. So if we both say it's not allowed then he's less likely to do it. (He's a boy, I appreciate there's only so much I can do!) I had to stop Hubby from saying 'Mammy says you can't do that' This could cause resentment in T, it starts the 'if Mammy says no I'll ask Daddy' thing which can cause massive problems in the future!
The licking thing, I thought was extremely funny and cute. Hubbys arguement is that he's round a jumpy dog and shavings of plastic all day and T could lick something nasty off his trousers, so I've had to put a stop to that!
As a SAHM it's very tempting to let him do what I'd like and not take Hubbys views into account, but I would be cross if it was the other way round so I behave myself!
I'm sure I have a hundred more examples but these are the only ones I can bring to mind at the moment.
Essentially if both parents have the same rules, then I think the child is less likely to try and play one off against the other and see their parents as one unbreakable unit!
The only flaws with this are Grandparents, but I think it's part of lifes natural path that they're allowed to break your rules, as punishment for everything you put them through as a child.
My Nana had this exact plate in her hallway which always amused me as a kid, and I always did it!
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