When to Stop Being Wonderwoman and Start Being Realistic!

My Facebook status says it all *Exhausted, approach with caution!*

I've had an horrendous night.

Put T down to sleep at about 8:30pm, he was awake again at 10:30pm. Brought him into the bedroom to give him cuddles, which he accepted and then started to doze off. I was concerned about him a bit so I decided to bring him back into our room for the night, so I had to wake both him and the OH half up whilst I transferred all the baby monitor and stuff back into our room.

Tried to cuddle T back to sleep again but he was having none of it, so had to give him a feed. Got him to sleep about midnight, then had to get up and make another bottle should he wake up for another feed.

Think I got to sleep about 1am. T woke up for a feed at 3:30am, fed him, both back to sleep for 4am. T woke up again at 6:30am, OH got up to get his feed and everything ready, but left T in his basket whilst he did that, so as he was shouting and bawling I had to get up to try and keep him calm whilst we waited for the OH to get sorted.

Then OH went to work at 7:30am and I had to get up.

I'm so tired I could just sob.

I was feeling a bit under the weather yesterday, and feel a lot worse today. Am all stressed out as The Daughter has just recovered from 4 days of the worst lurgy I've seen in a long time, and I'm panicing that I'm coming down with it.

I say panicing because if I'm poorly, it messes so many things up, OH would have to do night feeds, which means he would be exhausted for work, and The Daughter would have to look after T during the day, or OH would have to take an unpaid day off.

Not ideal.

So I'm sat here wondering what's best to do.

T has just gone down for a nap, and as much as research suggests that the mum sleeps whilst baby does, it just isn't that simple. If you're tired and grumpy and try and go to sleep when baby goes down you can guarantee that by the time you wind down enough to get to sleep, just as the feeling of sleep washes over you, baby will then wake up. Which makes you even more tired and a hell of a lot more grumpy!

So I decided a few weeks back that that wasn't the best idea.

But what do I do about today?

The problem I've got is I hate asking for help, I hate the idea of palming baby off on other people, as it was my choice to give birth and therefore he's my responsibilty! (I know that's not the best logic in the world but that's the way I'm programmed!) We've had so many offers from my family for T to stay over with them so I can get a nights sleep, but what's the point?! Why should they have to suffer getting up in the night, they don't have a baby at the moment for a reason! Plus if I have a full nights sleep, that only tides me over till the next time I have a double/triple night feed! Also I have this problem where I feel that if I ask for help it means I'm a bad mother and I can't cope. (I know this isn't the case but you can't help what you think/feel)

I could ask my mum to take him for the day until the OH gets home, but she's got a dicky back and if she needs to get out and about lugging T and his car seat in and out of the car won't do her any good.

So I think I've established I need someone to do something for today, I just wish I knew who and what!?

I need to get realistic, when I'm tired I can feel the PND creeping back and that's definitely not what I want, so I need to set some goals and get a grip. I've got enough things going on in my life to amuse me for the day, wedding planning; helping promote the parents business; housework etc. If I can get through till 6pm tonight then I can sleep when the OH gets home.

Not the cheeriest of blogs, I do apologise, but it is a blog about everything to do with being a first time mum and I'm sure plenty of others have days like this!