Confidence

Confidence is a funny old thing isn't it.

Particularly body confidence, I'm quite confident in who I am on the inside!

Before I was pregnant I was (at one point) 14 st 13.

After I'd given birth, within a few days I'd dropped to 12 st 11.

Over the last 2 and a bit years I've hovered around 13-13 1/2.

When I was at my heaviest, nothing could stop me I was a sexy, sexy beast (obviously only in my head) I'd squeeze in some too tight jeans, slip on a too tight, low cut top, my ginormous boobs were to be relied on to keep everyone's eyes averted away from my many, many rolls....worked a charm. I always felt fabulous and I was never short of (non pervy) attention from men.

So why now, just under 2 stone lighter and with only one roll to worry about do I feel so flabby and horrible?! I still have ginormous boobs, but I don't like getting them out as much now. (Think breast feeding changed how I viewed them!) and I have a muffin top, that's all it can be called. But it seems worse! Seriously what is that about?

I've thrown myself head first into exercising to try and make it GO AWAY! Does anyone else finish exercising, dripping with sweat, big shiny purple face, hair glued to your face, completely out of breath and for a fleeting second when you look down at 'the roll' you expect to have just disappeared because you worked so hard!?

The dieting part is not going so well, all this exercise is making me ravenous, and just ravenous for savoury food like cheese toasties, crisps, salami etc. At least I exercised off the calories before the pig out, but we're not moving forward doing that are we!

The good thing is, I met my Hubby when I was at my heaviest, so I know he loves me no matter what I look like which is always reassuring to know. Toby just loves me no matter what I look like and they're really the only opinions that matter to me!

So I have taken my 'before' pictures. I shan't share them as I wouldn't wish to make anyone sick at this time of night !! (They're in my least sexy underwear also!)

But maybe if I hit my target, which is to be 12 st. 7 or a comfortable size 14 by my 30th (August 20th) I may happily share my before and after!

I hope all of you who have similar goals have done well in your first week. Feel free to post fitness tips, success stories or lots of words of encouragement for myself and anyone else in the same boat!