Time

I understand that the concept of time to a child doesn't really exist, but when they're causing their own problems because of the time they waste how do you deal with it?

A few examples:

T sits down for a simple tea, not a huge plate by a long shot at around 5:30 during tea he talks and explains the meaning of life to you several times over, whilst taking a teeny tiny bite of his tea in between. We try explaining to him that the longer he takes to eat the less play time he has. This is instantly translated and he says he's full. I explain that he needs to eat more than that and unless he does he won't get to play anyways. So we have to stop saying that. We've tried letting him take his own time, but then he's finishing at 6:30 which is tidy up and get ready for bedtime, we explained then that he has no play time because he took so long eating his tea. He cries and cries and we explain it was down to him how long he takes to eat, he chooses to take a long time so therefore he doesn't have any play time left.

I've explained by pointing at the hands on the clock, when this big hand gets here it's tidy up for bedtime, he'll watch it tick round. 

Tidying up time is the same issue, he has to play with each toy, gets distracted by anything and tells you every toys life story as he goes. We tell him he's running out of time and he doesn't understand so he carries on in the same manner. He used to be super good at tidying up but since his imagination has developed it's become more and more of a chore. 

It's frustrating, I don't want to make tea times a fight, I want him to eat enough, I enjoy his waffling at tea time, we eat round the table so it's family chatting time. I don't want to impose a no talking at tea time rule because that won't be fun for any of us! 

I don't want to tidy up for him he knows he's responsible for his mess and he knows he needs to tidy it up before bed (I'm not a complete cow, if I see he's tidying up properly I will always help him, if he's messing I leave him to it) he was given the option to tidy up before tea tonight and he didn't, when I asked him why he said he was looking for his smurfs banana! I explained that could have been done another time and if he'd tidied up before tea it would have been all done! 

I know I'm asking him to understand probably more than he's capable of, but without giving him his tea at about 4pm we'd never get meals, play and tidying up done before bedtime, plus hubby comes in at 5 and I like us to all eat together.

There must be some way we can get him to grasp something!? 

Or do we just be harsh and carry on with normal routine and explain each night he's got no play time because he's messed about with tea and tidying and hope it sinks in that way?!

Any thoughts grately appreciated!!